I told their boss that I heard them on the phone making plans but actually said it was about charity.

I told my friends I couldn't go out because I was sick, but I just wanted to eat pizza and watch anime in peace.

I accepted a job offer using a completely fabricated portfolio, and now I am frantically teaching myself how to do the actual work.

My neighbor plays loud music until 2 AM. I plugged an automated smart plug into his outdoor outlet and shut his patio speakers off every 20 minutes.

I’ve been secretly paying off my mother-in-law’s mortgage so she stays in her house across the country instead of moving in with us.

My neighbor called the police on my dinner party for noise at 10:01 PM. I signed her house address up to receive free weekly samples of manure fertilizer.

I watch 3-hour video essays on the production history of failed theme park attractions.

I hid their spare key in a place they would never think to look and then laughed when they couldnt get in.

I took credit for our project at work even though you did most of the actual work.

I memorized your exact laugh so I can tell when you have entered the building before I even turn around.

I stayed in my hometown while everyone else moved to big cities. Sometimes it feels like time stopped for me.

My parents told everyone my brother moved abroad for a prestigious fellowship, but he is actually in rehab.

I told my nephew that thunder is just the clouds bowling in the sky, and now he roots for a strike every storm.

The truth about their hidden feelings would ruin everything we have built over the past few years.

I never stopped blaming myself for letting you walk out that door during our final argument.