I knew you were going to break my heart the night we met, but I let you in anyway because I was lonely.

I intentionally unsubscribe my ex's primary email address from random newsletters every time they cross my mind.

I told my dog that mailman was a notorious criminal, and now he growls at every single delivery box that arrives.

My neighbor’s husband came to my door at midnight asking for a jump-start. His collar was smeared with red lipstick, and his wife has been out of state since Tuesday.

I change the playlist on my phone whenever your favorite song comes on so I don't accidentally listen to it too much.

I am a 35-year-old software engineer and I unironically listen to 2000s pop music at max volume when driving alone.

I keep the gift cards you gave me because they remind me of everything we used to do together.

My sister-in-law thinks her husband is working late every Friday. He’s actually sitting in his car down the street eating fast food so he doesn’t have to go home to her.

I found out my fiancé’s "guys trip" was actually a joint trip with his ex. I haven’t said a word, but his ring is currently sitting at the bottom of a public fountain.

I’m a private chef for a wealthy family in town. The wife makes me add high-fat cream to her husband’s "diet" soups so he stays out of shape.

I really fucking hate my job, but its the best money I can make in my area without making a gamble on college.

I secretly love eating the burnt, crispy edges of brownies and throw the soft middle pieces away.

My mother has been keeping secrets from me for twenty years and I still visit her every week.

I bought the exact same jacket you wore last winter just so we would match when we crossed paths in the hallway.

The only reason no one has heard about my concerns is because I never told anyone who was really behind it.